Saturday, December 30, 2006

Still waiting

No referral sightings yet. It's looking more and more like we will have to wait until January 2007 for the next batch and cut off date. My heart goes out to the families who are so close!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Where is my dossier?

The pictures below were obtained from the Love Without Boundaries site. Their motto is "Every Child Counts" This organization has dedicated itself to helping Chinese orphans. The site offers many ways for you yourself to get involved and/or offer your assistance. Please check it out!

So..... Where is my dossier? Hopefully in the New CCAA office building pictured below!

A sign posted by the Entrance to the CCAA.

My dossier should be somewhere in these piles of dossiers waiting to be matched. I believe the dossiers are color coded by the months that they are logged in.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas Everyone! I hope your holiday is merry. And a special Holiday shoutout to all my Blogger buddies. It has been one heck of a ride and I don't think I could have made it this far without you all and the support that you have given me! God bless us everyone..........

Monday, December 18, 2006

Erin's gift for Abby

My Niece Erin just amazes me with how in tune she is with Abby's pending adoption. She has closely followed right along with me as I journey to Abby and talks about her all the time as if she is already here. A couple weeks ago while I was at her house she disappeared upstairs for a while. When she returned back downstairs she was holding a wrapped present that she made sure I saw her place under their Christmas tree. Minutes later she had removed it and asked that I open it for Abby.

I wish I had thought to take a picture of the gift before I opened it.

Erin and Aunt Jenny!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

More Rumors

It's starting again. The all of September LID's (Or the rest of September I should say) for the next batch of referrals rumors are surfacing again. I'm not falling for them this time though. The next referral batch is due out sometime at the end of this month or begining of January. That's a while to wait and unfortunately a lot can (and probably will) change between now and then.....

On a more positive note, I really want to thank you all for all of your encouraging words! Your the BEST!!!!!

Monday, December 11, 2006

One of those days.

Not feeling my best today. Warning pity party post coming up. ...... I know it has been a rough couple of weeks for all of us in Blogger Land. Not a lot of good news this month and not even any potential good rumors out there.

My day today just plain sucked. Today one of my coworkers told me that several of my other coworkers had commented that I have been in a bad mood lately. Then she tells me but don't worry I told them that's just you being pregnant. Maybe she meant well and even went on to say that she felt that my persistent bad mood was out of character for me so she attributed my mood to being pregnant. She wouldn't say who else had told her that I was cranky though only saying only that she told them they should bring their concerns to me. This really hurts cause that means they just really don't understand what I am going through.

Number one - This is not your average pregnancy! Number two - I work in a very busy but stressful Intensive Care Unit. Number three - We have had a lot of sadness on our unit as of late. Both with sad cases and also several of our coworkers have suffered significant tragedy's recently. Add to that the tension that the Holidays can bring plus all of the recent bad news coming out currently for the Adoption Community and I'm sorry but it's hard to keep up a Sunny personality.

My first concern when she said this was for my patients. I have tried very hard not to let my disappointments affect my care. She didn't seem to think that was an issue thank goodness. I Love taking care of my patients and often bring their problems home with me ie- worrying about them ect. This of course just adds to my stress but also comes with my job.

Not sure where I am going with this but I am putting it out there anyway. It hurts that some of my coworkers whom I also consider friends can't understand what I am going through. My one year anniversary has passed and now It's likely to be 6 to 9 months more of waiting. Everyone at work knows I am adopting so I hear multiple times a day the same questions over and over. I know they care and want to know but when the 20th person asks you in a 12 hr period it gets really hard to answer. I truly don't know anything. As you all know it's also really hard to convey the lack of information that we are given to people not on our ride. If I'm cranky obviously I am hurting..... Not to mention That I live this journey 24/7 by my self. Yes this was my choice and yes I have friends and family to talk with about it but it still not the same as having a spouse to share it with. Again I know this was my choice but it doesn't mean that I don't have to admit that I am hurting as I wait.

My sister happened to call me tonight at the perfect time (Thanks Laurie). She likened my situation to hers when she was going through invitro (it worked twice Thank The Good Lord or we would not have Erin and Christopher). She also felt misunderstood and was hurt by well meaning statements or questions.

So if any of my coworkers happen to read this please bear with me. I will try to be happier but I'm struggling. Sometimes this seesaw gets to be a little much. I will not give up though. My Abby is out there and hopefully getting closer everyday......

Thursday, December 07, 2006

LID 12 Months today!

Wow one year today! Not sure how much longer to go. One rumor is that the wait will stabilize at 15 months meaning 3 more months to go. Another rumor has the wait going up to 18 months meaning 6 more months of waiting. I myself figure that if it is going to continue to take the CCAA 3 months to get through 1 month worth of LID'S then I am looking at 9 more months until I get to see a picture of Abby. Finally the Rumor Queens prediction chart has me getting my referral in June leaving my wait at 7 months. So the possibilities are multiple and only the CCAA really knows....... meanwhile I am going to start concentrating on myself while I wait. Time to look out for me and worry about me again. It is my New Years Resolution but I am starting today! My 3 list toppers are to eat better, sleep better and to exercise at least 4 days a week. Ready......Set.......GO!!