Thursday, June 21, 2007

Just a funny

Since I have nothing to post, I give you this :) And yes I have 2 cats.

Diary Excerpts From A Dog And A Cat

The Dog's Diary

8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Dinner! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog gets special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now!


C.J. said...

Heh! How true that is :0)

Krista said...

Good one!

Stacy said...

I'm sticking with dogs. ;o)

Hanne said...

That is just too funny!

Stephe said...

OMG!! You made me crack a smile today...and A BIG ONE AT THAT!! :) Thanks. That was GREAT!!!

Chris & Deb said...

LOL! We also have 2 true it is!

PromiseKeepersDaughter said...

Where did you find my cats diary!!!! ;O)
Too true! LOL

kris said...

Someone sent this to me by email a while ago- LOVE IT. I was so glad to read it again!

Elisa, Jarrod & Thomas said...

ha ha cats def think like this I am sure!

Lindsey said...

lol thats so true, we have 2 cats and it fits them to a tee =)

Ann said...

I've seen this before and it always make me laugh.

Headmeister said...

I love this - I've seen it a bunch of times! I too am a "cat lady" - I have 4 of the furry creatures myself.

I've seen you all over the comments of other blogs and I just thought "why haven't I been over to check her out myself yet???" So - here I am :) Nice to "meet" you!

Be well,