Something to think about while we wait.

Brenda was almost halfway to the top of the tremendous granite cliff. She was standing on a ledge where she was taking a breather during this, her first rock climb. As she rested there, the safety rope snapped against her eye and knocked out her contact lens. "Great", she thought. "Here I am on a rock ledge, hundreds of feet from the bottom and hundreds of feet to the top of this cliff, and now my sight is blurry." She looked and looked, hoping that somehow it had landed on the ledge But it just wasn't there. She felt the panic rising in her, so she began praying. She prayed for calm,and she prayed that she may find her contact lens. When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the lens, but it was not to be found. Although she was calm now that she was at the top, she was saddened because she could not clearly see across the range of mountains. She thought of the bible verse "The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth." She thought, "Lord, You can see all these mountains. You know every stone and leaf, and You know exactly where my contact lens is. Please help me." Later, when they had hiked down the trail to the bottom of the cliff they met another party of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One of them shouted out, "Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?" Well, that would be startling enough, but you know why the climber saw it? An ant was moving slowly across a twig on the face of the rock, carrying it!

The story doesn't end there. Brenda's father is a cartoonist. When she told him the incredible story of the ant, the prayer, and the contact lens, he drew a cartoon of an ant lugging that contact lens with the caption, "Lord, I don't know why You want me to carry this thing. I can't eat it, and it's awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me to do, I'll carry it for You." I think it would do all of us some good to say, "God, I don't know why You want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it's awfully heavy.But, if You want me to carry it, I will." God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

Yes, I do love GOD. He is my source of existence and my Savior. He keeps me functioning each and every day. Without Him, I am nothing, but with Him.....I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. (Phil.4:13)

PLEASE NEVER FORGET!

On the eve of September 11th

WHOEVER WROTE THIS SHOULD STEP FORWARD AND CLAIM IT! THE WORDS ARE POWERFUL:
TWO THOUSAND ONE, NINE ELEVEN (2001-911) Two thousand one, nine eleven Three thousand plus arrive in heaven As they pass through the gate, Thousands more appear in wait A bearded man with stovepipe hat Steps forward saying, "Lets sit, let’s chat" They settle down in seats of clouds A man named Martin shouts out proud "I have a dream!" and once he did The Newcomer said, "Your dream still lives." Groups of soldiers in blue and gray Others in khaki, and green then say "We're from Bull Run, Yorktown, the Maine" The Newcomer said, "You died not in vain." From a man on sticks one could hear "The only thing we have to fear. The Newcomer said, "We know the rest, Trust us sir, we've passed that test." "Courage doesn't hide in caves You can't bury freedom, in a grave," The Newcomers had heard this voice before A distinct Yankees twang from Hyannis port shores A silence fell within the mist Somehow the Newcomer knew that this Meant time had come for her to say What was in the hearts of the five thousand plus that day "Back on Earth, we wrote reports, Watched our children play in sports Worked our gardens, sang our songs Went to church and clipped coupons We smiled, we laughed, we cried, we fought Unlike you, great we're not" The tall man in the stovepipe hat Stood and said, "Don't talk lik e that! Look at your country, look and see You died for freedom, just like me" Then, before them all appeared a scene Of rubbled streets and twisted beams Death, destruction, smoke and dust And people working just 'cause they must Hauling ash, lifting stones, Knee deep in hell, but not alone "Look! Blackman, Whiteman, Brownman, Yellowman Side by side helping their fellow man!" So said Martin, as he watched the scene "Even from nightmares, can be born a dream." Down below three firemen raised The colors high into ashen haze The soldiers above had seen it before On Iwo Jima back in '45 The man on sticks studied everything closely Then shared his perceptions on what he saw mostly "I see pain, I see tears, I see sorrow -- but I don't see fear." "You left behind husbands and wives Daughters and sons and so many lives Are suffering now because of this wrong But look very closely. You're not really gone. All of those people, even those who've never met you All of their lives, they'll never forget you Don't you see what has happened? Don't you see what you've done? You've brought them together, together as one. With that the man in the stovepipe hat said "Take my hand," and from there he led Three thousand plus heroes, Newcomers to heaven On this day, two thousand one, nine eleven Author UNKNOWN (What a shame!)\

Ladybug Sighting?

What a wonderful surprise I received in the mail a couple days ago. Adorable ladybug bloomers for Abby from her Florida Grandparents. I called them last night to thank them and they asked me if had found the surprise tucked inside them. I was so taken with the cuteness of the bloomers that I missed the surprise. Tucked inside the bloomers was a check for Abby and I to assist with the expenses involved with the renewal of my soon to be expired paperwork.

Thanks Dad and Melanie! You shouldn't have but I am glad that you did! I love you both and can't wait for the day that you guys get to meet Abby in person........

LID 9 MONTHS TODAY

9 months down today. How much longer to go? I have no idea. Currently people have been waiting around 13 months for their referral. The rumors are not good right now. Most seem to point to a June 2007 referral for me. That seems years away to me. 9 more months essentially..... My paperwork will reach their expire dates soon. Fun Fun Fun as I get to redo my fingerprints, I 171, update my home study with new documents ect. All for none too small a fee I'll add.


I e-mailed my agency yesterday to ask them why we are not being given any answers as to why the wait has grown so long. They replied with an interesting concept that I hadn't thought of. Essentially saying that our (China and the USA) cultures are different. We here in the USA expect and are usually given information to our questions. China on the other hand evidently doesn't think that way therefore seeing nothing wrong with their adoption process. Or the lack of information they release. I guess it boils down to what your "norm" is. This makes it hard for all of us in the end being that we both see things so differently.

So there you have it. Stay tuned as my wait continues.

Abby's Crib is DONE!!!

Meet Abby's Uncle Pete! He came over tonight and finished up Abby's Crib. It turned out nicely. He did a good job finishing up for Meema who has a lot on her plate right now.

Oh Oh, Quackers found something different in her house. Wonder what she will do when there is a baby in there?

Also had to share what I bought with my birthday money. Isn't she beautiful?

Review Room

Guess this means that I am officially in the review room. I actually believe that I have been there for a while. I have been seeing multiple rumors on other sites from people that have herd of people who have been contacted by the CCAA to request more information. These people contacted were also logged in to the CCAA in December like I was. These rumors have been around for several weeks. Still it's nice to see it officially in print.

The big question is how long will I be in there and what happens after that? Not sure how long my file will be reviewed. Could be 1 month or several. After that (God willing that I am officially approved!) My file moves on to the matching room! It is there that Abby and I will be officially matched. Unfortunately while it seems that I am almost done that is really not the case. There are many families waiting for their referrals still ahead of me. You can see on the left that they are only up to families that have been logged in by July 22. The current rumor is that Septembers referrals will only include July 23 through July 28. I am trying to remember that this is only a rumor!

Meanwhile please pray that my file will pass smoothly through the review room and inro the matching room.......

Birthday Recap

I'm back from a wonderful BD weekend in Hilton Head. We had great beach weather (no pictures though) and a wonderful place to stay! Thank's Krystyn!!!! It was great to be with all of my old buddies again and I was sad to see the weekend end. It's funny that no matter how much time passes you all just pick right back up from where you left off. There were 10 of us there and we had a lot of fun catching up and talking about the past. Thanks Robyn (Our group photographer) also for bringing all the old photo albums!

Here we are (below) the night of my birthday just before going out on the the town. They surprised me and had a little pre going out celebration that included presents and lots of good food!

We ended up at a bar singing with the band. The band was AWESOME!

It was a fabulous Birthday celebration!

The next night we all went out for a nice South Western dinner.

They also gave me this really cool plate that they all signed.

Thanks girls for a wonderful 40'th BD that I will never forget!!!! I love you all and can't wait until the next time we are all together again.

Oh Oh

It is 12:16 AM and I am officially 40! Oh my gosh. I certainly never thought I would be where I am at this stage in my life. I always assumed that I would be married with a couple of kids. Not still single and childless. Don't get me wrong I do like my life but it's funny how things work out......

I am a strong believer that there is a plan for me and I am finding it out as I go. I also continue to have faith that Abby will be a big part of that plan!

On another note, I am off to Hilton Head to celebrate with some old friends. It has been along time since we all have been together and we have a lot to catch up on. Well gotta get this 40 year old body to bed. Gotta catch a plane in a couple hours. Hope to see lots of referrals posted when I get back!

Warning Pity Party

Tonight while shopping at Krogers after work, I spied a sweet little Chinese baby shopping with her Caucasian parents. She was adorable playing with a battery powered toothbrush and squealing with delight when she activated it. Normally this sight makes me smile and I either gather up the nerve to approach them or secretly stalk them for discreet glimpses of their beautiful child and dream about what my Abby might look like. Tonight my eyes just teared up and I really felt like I was going to cry right there in the store. I finished up quickly and got out of there never trying to sneak any more secret glances.

Not sure why I got so emotional tonight. Maybe it's all the bad rumors swirling out there right now, maybe it's the constant uncertainty that I and everybody else in the Chinese adoption community are forced to live with on a daily basis, maybe it's the fact that I am approaching the 9th month of this pseudo pregnancy with no end in sight to the waiting, heck maybe it's just plain PMS? Who knows but ...............

One of the loudest rumors circulating out there right now is that the CCAA is getting ready to announce some new restrictions imposed on people adopting from China. It is being rumored that China may no longer allow singles to adopt. If this happens it is rumored that this will not effect those applicants that are already logged in with the CCAA. We would be grandfatherd in but until I see that in print from the CCAA I will not relax. This also really sucks for the other singles out there currently paperchasing, I hear they are being told to get their paperwork in by Nov or Dec so that they are logged in before next year. Remember there is also currently a quota in place that only allows 8% of each adoption agencies yearly applications to adopt from China to come from singles. Meaning if they can't get a spot to submit their paperwork in time then who knows what may happen.

Lets not forget also that these rumors may or may not be true. Sadly though they are all we have to go on. So we continue to wait and wait, hoping and praying that this process speeds up, relying on faith and that what's meant to be will happen, and that we will all have our children when we are meant to.

Nursery Update

Abby's nursery is coming along. Abby's crib is the focus for now. I don't trust myself to put it together by myself. Just all the screws ect overwhelm me. Meema on the other hand is very good at putting things together (and a lot of other things too actually). After working on the crib for a couple hours one day, she again came over the other day with reinforcements. Erin and Christopher were eager to lend a hand, but not for very long. This crib project is time consuming and a lot more complicated compared to crib assembly when I was a baby (says Meema and she would know she has put together three of them at least).

Christopher now over the process.

The end result on the second attempt. Just the sides left to do.

Finally I just thought I would show you a preview of my plans. The walls are actually a light lavender but looks grayish in the pictures. The trim is white. This fabric (pictured below) will be used for Abby's curtains and to cover her vanity seat (pictured above). Her crib bedding is pink. I was hoping to finish the crib today but decided to sleep instead. I had worked for a couple of days and was tired. Anyway evidently I will have lots of time to finish..........Sorry it's so hard not to be sarcastic at times as this wait continues to lengthen without ANY explanations given.

In Denial

It's that time of the month when rumors are bad. It's that time of the month when rumors are bad. It's that time of the month when rumors are bad..............

Attitude Tee Shirts

I got them at Target :=)

Wow!

KUDOS to Britain for foiling the latest terrorist plot. It's so sad the world we live in today and the world our children will grow up in..... I have always been a nervous flyer. I will be flying to Hilton Head Island in two weeks for a girls trip. A long weekend gathering that just happens to include my Birthday. There will be at least 10 of us that have all remained close since High school. It will also be the first time we have all been together for a while. Now I'm scared to fly there. I think some major medication may have to be involved if I can get up the nerve to go through with it. Oh and how IRONIC is it that the last time we planed a girls trip (to Atlanta that time) it was almost 5 years ago. You guessed it. September 11th happened a month before we were to go. We canceled that trip.

I see the moon

I hope everybody took a minute to look at the moon tonight. It is beautiful, My pictures didn't do it justice. Neither does this similar image that I found on yahoo. It's full (or darn close to it), and yellow. It's also a beautiful night for an August summer night in Virginia. 77 degrees, a few clouds, bright stars, and only 60 % humidity!! I wish every night could be like this.

I like thinking that Abby and I share this same moon. I also wonder if she has ever seen it during her short life so far? I pray that she is safe and well taken care of by someone who cares about her. Maybe they have even taken the time to hold her up to the window and let her look at it. Maybe............................

8 months LID today!

Lucky eight? Heres hoping that things SPEED UP and Stay that way!

Thanks Aunt Debbie

I received this nice surprise in the mail a few weeks ago from Abby's Aunt Debbie. It's a insulated picnic bag that came with dishes, silverware, and wine glasses. I can't wait to Take my Abby Lei out just the two of us for a special Momma and Abby picnic! (Sippy cup added of course :=)

I found this cute little ladybug lunch/bottle carrier for Abby on line. It is even cuter in person.

Back on the wagon

Ordinarily I would be embarrassed to share this but I know you all in Blogland can relate so here it goes...... Well it's more then time. August 7th will make 9 months since I logged in with the CCAA. While there doesn't appear to be a baby for me in the near future, this pseudo pregnancy has go to end. I was a size 8 when I started this journey. Now...... NOT SO MUCH! So I am back on weight watchers. I have done it before and know that it works. It's all about portion control and sensible choices. Both of those have been hard to follow with all the stress of this process. All I want to do is sit on the computer and look for anything adoption related and anything that might give me even a hint as to when my referral for Abby will come. Snacking goes well with that. So I am officially back on the wagon. I figure if I stick with it I can loose the added weight by December. And hopefully focusing on this goal will ease up on my referral stress.

Nursery Update

Big progress for me! After much procrastination, I painted 3 walls in Abby's room today. I will finish the final wall tonight. The walls will need a second coat and I still have to do the trim. Now that I have made a dent in the dreaded paint project I am ready to see the room completed. Not sure what motivated me to do this today other than the fact that I was stuck in my house waiting for the aircon man to come. My air has just not been up to par. I will set the temp at 68-70 and the gage never goes below a balmy 82. There actually was cool air coming from my vents but evidently not enough to keep up with the heat wave we are experiencing. Today's high was 101 and it is predicted to reach 103 tomorrow! way to hot for me!!! I am so ready for fall. Anyways yap I picked the hottest day of the summer so far to start painting. The aircon man just left. Evidently my cooling coil?? Was clogged up with dirt. After a good unclogging he said my air should be fine. The best part of today was when he told me how much I owed. $80.00 !!!! I was expecting much more. So now it is slowly cooling down and I'm a Happy Camper :D

Tai Shan turns ONE

I can't believe I missed it! Little Tai turned ONE on July 24th. Here he is above celebrating with his Mama. Pictured below are some cute baby panda photos sent to me by buddy Sharon.