And now it's 19. I said I would not speculate and I'm trying not to. I don't think My Abby will be in my arms until after the New Year is here. I'm not counting on it. Really I'm not. So how come I am still hoping that she might be or could be??? It's a nagging feeling that I can't shake. A feeling of it could be possible..... I'm letting myself think it could happen sooner then it probably will. I think it will be close and could go either way. There I go again speculating! I don't want to, I don't want any more disappointments. Even though I know it's likely I can't just let myself believe I will meet her next year. I know... I am going to be sorry... My hopes will end up being dashed.