Okay this is a hard post but I am hoping that by putting it out here it will help keep me honest. I have posted about this before but never stuck with it. Now I am paying the consequences. My weight during this wait has become out of control. Deep down I knew it but it was just easier not to look at myself and focus instead on any instant gratification I could get. What better way is there then eating crap. I have always been a stress eater albeit starving myself in high school when a boyfriend had broken up with me, or later binge eating when I was stressed. I think we would all agree that there aren't many things out there that are more stressful then our adoption experience. Of course there are bigger and worst things for sure but for me this has been it.
Now hardly anything fits me in my closet and I have found myself on many occasions avoiding events (IE The bloggy bash, weddings, a birthday trip at the beach just to name a few) because I am ashamed of how I look. So finally I have taken control and gone back to weight watchers. I know it works cause I have done it before.
Last Saturday my Mom and I finally went. I weighed for the first time in forever. I didn't look at the scale and told the lady just to write it down and not to tell me. It wasn't til Monday that I was able to get up the nerve to look at the card and see how much I actually weighed. I could not believe it. I weigh one hundred and OH MY GAWD!!!!! That enough will keep me from not cheating for sure! So I went shopping and started that Monday.
I was strict and stuck to the program for 5 days. I was actually excited to weigh in and see what if anything I had accomplished. So today I went back for the second time and weighed in. I am please to announce that I lost 3.6 pounds :0 So I am back on track. No cheating for me and hopefully I will at least be presentable by the time I am in China.
What I like about the WW program is the point system. You can eat what ever you want as long as you stick with your allotted points for the day. There are some new products made by weight watchers out there too. The soup and the ice cream really rock :)