I Suck!

Not even one day! I had to do it. Went back to the Rumor Queen site. There is something about a November LID family being told they will get their referral in November? The Rumor Queen says this rumor sounds to good to be true? Dare I hope???? With a December LID will I get my referral In December???? And I'm sucked right back in again.......

And down I go!

Referrals are on the way. Cut off date is July 13th. I don't know why I do this to myself. I compare it to buying a lottery ticket. I just know I am gonna win but never do. It's the same way with the rumors I read. I convince myself that they are true. I (along with everybody else) was really hoping a whole months worth of referrals would be issued this time. Oh well, my rollercoaster ride continues. I am swearing off the rumor queens site for awhile though since I can't seem to handle what I read.

UPS and DOWNS!

Good days and bad ones. That's what it's all about. I have seen the term roller coaster ride used on several blogs when trying to explain what we in the adoption community are going through on a daily basis. It's so true. As I have said previously, many or most of us are not given much info in regards to what exactly is going on with our wait for our referral. We rely on rumors and any tidbits of info that we are able to gather from our various yahoo groups, message boards, ect. As of late the rumors have been pretty depressing. Now today again it seems we are in the midst of some hopeful and optimistic rumors.

According to the rumor queen it again seems possible that all if not a good portion of July will be referred next. I have seen this rumor before only to later have it crushed with the July 13th cut off date referral rumor. It seems to me that if the all or most of July rumor does prove true then it would appear the CCAA is attempting to stick to the 12 to 13 month wait period v/s the dreaded 18 month wait rumor. I am crossing my fingers and toes that the better rumor ends up accurate. SO tonight I again go to bed optimistic while also knowing the ever present potential to be crushed yet again remains and is also likely.

Thank God for retail therapy :o)!!

Christopher update

Thanks for all the kind wishes sent his way. He seems to be a little better. I did not call him last night but spoke with my sister and she said he had been happier on the phone that night even laughing a little. He only got teary at the end of the conversation while saying good night to Daddy. I called him tonight and there was no answer. I am hoping that since it is Friday night that maybe there was something fun planned for them to do tonight. I did send him a big care package though today. I am so proud of him and today is hump day for him. Only 6 more days and then we pick him up . (Guess he is not the only one counting down) I will head to MD with my sisters family to get him then were off to New Jersey for a family wedding.

AHHH Retail Therapy

I have been looking for this Magnolia doll forever. I had seen her on other families blogs and she looks so soft. Finally I found her. I can't wait until she comes in!

I found these bibs at Belks. I can't wait to put them on Abby! Especially the first one.

Ladybug poncho and hat :o)

Mary Jane slippers!!

Hang in there Christopher!!!

My 9 year old nephew (pictured above with sister Erin) and "first baby" was chosen by his school this year to have the honor of attending the 2 week National Scholastic Excellence Program in Chevy Chase Maryland. This is his first trip away from home alone. He has been there since Sunday and having a bit of a hard time. He is kept very busy during the day taking neat classes that he chose beforehand including Greek Mythology and a Leadership class. It's at night after the day is done that he has been getting pretty homesick. Poor baby, he can have phone calls from 9PM until 9:30 PM. I called him tonight to see how it was going and he started crying as soon as he herd my voice. My heart is breaking for him. He is like me, a homebody and says he misses everybody and wants to see us in person. We know this trip will be good for him but I can't stand to think of him alone and hurting. I would appreciate any thoughts, prayers or good wishes anyone wants to send his way. I am really hoping that by this weekend he will have settled in........

GRIM AND GRIMMER

What can I see the news/ rumors are only getting worse. Evidently Australia is now advising their applicants to expect the wait to grow to 18 months! They are informing the families in the process because they feel they have a right to know. The CCAA was just recently in Australia so I am guessing this rumor is probably accurate. To make matters worse the Rumor Queen happened to use my LID of December as an example on her website to predict when referrals could be expected. Drumroll please....................June 2007!!!!! UGGGGGGG! The icing on the cake is the fact that when I e-mailed my agency today to discuss this new potential development I DID NOT receive a response. What to say?? Guess I'm getting on the phone tomorrow. Oh and I'm also seriously considering rebreaking my computer. I think I was better off without it.

Pity Party

I have been back on line for several days. I just haven't been in a posting mode. It seems that the initially promising rumors that I missed while my computer was down have turned into not so good ones. The dreaded 18 month to 2 year wait rumor is again surfacing and with quite a bit of back up. I just don't get it. We are all waiting..... the babies are all waiting...... so what is the darn hold up??? And how do you try and explain to your friends and family that you still haven't herd anything? I'm beginning to think that some people might even start thinking that this is not going to happen. I know it will but it is very hard to be convincing when you are unable to answer their questions as to why the wait you initially though would be 6 to 7 months has turned into 1 year and counting. I know we are all fortunate to be receiving beautiful baby's from the CCAA and I also know that they have their own agenda in determining when that will be. It is the continuing lack of information that is so frustrating. So with a LID of December I was hoping to at least have Abby's referral by December. It's now looking like it won't happen until the spring but, "Hey, Who really knows?"

7 MONTHS TODAY!

I have been logged in SEVEN months today. dare I say that I am halfway there???? My computer is on the fritz (Sp?) so I am posting from work. (after work of course!) This computer won't let me add a big 7 either. It is going to be a long 5 to 10 days for me without my laptop! Do they make a patch for this?? It already felt weird last night after I dropped it off. I kept thinking of things to look up or check and reaching for it then remembering. Oh well just means I can only check your blogs, my e-mail and message boards once a day instead of multiple checks to make sure I haven't missed anything. Gosh I think I need help! Well gotta go and see what's up on the rumor queens blog.

HAPPY JULY 4TH

This time last year while I was watching 4th of July fireworks at my parents I had thought to myself that next year Abby and I would be watching 4th of July fireworks togeather. We all know that didn't happen..... So this year I worked and had a nice day despite of it all. I'm sure the patients I took care of and their families hadn't thought their 4th of July would be celebrated at the hospital either......

Thanks Kristie and Loghan!

Good buddies Kristie and Loghan just got back from NYC a few days ago after a modeling gig for Loghan. Their trip to the city included a visit to Chinatown where they bought Abby her first pair of Asian PJs! Thanks to you both for always thinking of us! I love them and can't wait to see how they look on Abby.

Kristie and Loghan also brought Erin back this beautiful Asian dress. She looks adorable in it!

Kristie when you read this please send me a picture of Loghan in her dress so I can put it on my blog. Thanks again! Love you guys, Aunt Jenny

Referrals Are Here!

Referrals are coming in today after a long wait for many lucky people. A lot of young uns too!! While I rejoice for all the newly expectant parents, I can't help feeling a little jealous as well. So what better way to boost my spirits???? I rode the ZAMBUKA (no idea how it's spelled?) at work today. At the hospital I work at we have a little man that rides around the halls on a Zambuca and polishes all the hallway floors. He never comes in our unit because the machine is pretty loud. I have always secretly thought his job looked like fun and casually mentioned to a coworker buddy at work last Friday that I would love to circle our unit (the ICU) in it. She thought that was hilarious and said lets see if you can. First she called our Nurse Manager and asked her if there was any policy that would not let me ride it. Our Nurse Manager replied, (to her) " Not as far as I know. You just need to go and knock the little man off that drives it and steal his keys." (Jokingly of course!!) We laughed and went back to work. Over the weekend that same coworker buddy decided that instead of Zambuca Jacking the little man she would just ask him. Long story short he showed up today and let me ride. I circled our unit twice the second time one handed. And it was fun I must say and I am willing to bet that there are others out there that also secretly would have liked to ride.

Cautiously optimistic

Yea for the CCAA!!! Their website has been updated today. Referrals for 13 days worth of LID's have been issued today. The CCAA has also finished processing documents logged in with them through October 31st. Basically for me that means only 1 more months worth of documents to go before MY DOCUMENTS reach the review room! We still don't know for sure how long the official wait for referral will be but there have been some pretty consistent rumors that the CCAA do not want to let the wait exceed 12 months. The amount of days worth of referrals issued today seem to support that rumor. What happens next month remains to be seen but if the referrals issued in July exceed 13 days worth of LID's or even all or most of July's then things are certainly looking up. Again I have to wait and see what happens next month. I know I say that every month but this truly has been one of the most positive days in The China adoption community for a while. Everybody cross your fingers and toes and pray that things continue to pick up or at least don't slow back down again...........

Virtual China

Wow this is cool. Click on today's blog entry title for an awesome perspective of China!

Clothing Police

For my friends in the non China adoption community, I give you these pictures of honest to gosh clothing police. You have often herd me speak of them. The Chinese believe that their babies must be kept warm no matter what the temp actually is. (although I have read that in the extreme summer heat exceptions are made) They dress their children in multiple layers and frown on others that do not do the same. The clothing police are not really police. This is just a name given to them by parents in the adoption community. They are mostly older ladies, ie grandmothers who won't think twice about approaching the baby and feeling their hands or cheeks to see if they are warm enough. They have also been known to feel the babies clothing checking to see how many layers the child is actually wearing or to pull down a paint leg or sleeve that has slipped up. I have even read of incidences where they will actually yell at you in Chinese if they feel that you have not dressed your child warmly enough. This is something adoptive parents have been informally trained to expect. I have learned many tricks from reading others blogs on ways to prevent this. Put tights under your babies pants, carry a receiving blanket with you at all times, put a hat on them just to name a few.

Happy Fathers Day

Happy Fathers Day to all the Dads in my Life!! You are all wonderful in your own special ways and I love and thank you for the differences you have made in my life. Next year I hope to have Abby with me. While she may or may not have her own Father, (fingers crossed in hopes that I do find my Mr Right someday) it is my hope that she will always know how lucky she is have the love and support that will be given to her by all of the Dads and Uncles in her life.....

New Car???

I have been thinking about buying a new car. Currently I drive a 2000 Volkswagen New Beetle. It is a great car, only has 44,000 miles on it, gets great gas mileage, and best of all it's paid for. As far as space goes "not so much!" On days that I have my niece and nephew with me (plus all of their stuff) we are pretty packed in. The trunk is also pretty small and I'm not sure it will be able to accommodate a stroller. Plus I would like a car that would hold them, myself, and Abby. The VW only seats two in the back. My nephew will be 10 when I get Abby so he may be big enough to sit in the front by then although he is also Mr Safety and may not want to take the chance. Anyone out there drive or know somebody that drives a VW with kids? If so how is it working for them? The two cars I am considering buying are the Toyota Prius (above) and the Toyota Matrix (below). Both seem pretty roomy with decent size trunks. My biggest dilemma though is deciding if it is really in my best interest to take on a car payment when I really need to be saving money? My plan was not to buy the car until right before I go to China for Abby thus holding off on the additional bill until the last second possible. But maybe I should wait until we get back. First seeing how things go without the car payment? I just don't know but unfortunately it looks like I have plenty of time to think about it.

Abby's got a new ride!

Thanks to everyone for your kind words of encouragement. I am better, just need to try and have more good days than bad ones.......On a more positive note! Check out our new glider rocker that I put together all by myself! (yap I'm Proud) It was a real bargain at Target. Oh and please ignore the mess around it. As you can see I still haven't gotten around to starting Abby's room. Don't know if it will be too depressing looking at a empty room for another 6, 9 or who knows how many more months. It's really the painting that is holding me back. If I just got that done then I would go to town. I just hate to paint. Maybe I will start small and just buy the paint......

Yuck!

Well what can I say? After my last upbeat post I have gone into a funk. I'm not sure what set me off either. I have been off all weekend and all I did was sleep. There was plenty I could have done but I just did not have the energy to do it. Okay I did do a little cyber shopping for Abby but even that did not make me feel better..............

Logged in 6 months today!

6 months down as of today and I am finding myself with feelings of peace. While driving home this evening, after watching my niece Erin's softball game, I was riding along listening to my favorite adoption songs. I drove and sang and thought about my wait for Abby so far and wondered how much longer it would be before we finally meet and get to spend the rest of our lives together. Feelings of frustration filled me as I drove into a thunderstorm. Then all of a sudden in the midst of all of the heavy rain the sun broke through the clouds. It was then that I felt myself filled with peace. I felt that everything was going to be alright and that this adoption is most certainly going to happen I just need to relax and realize that it is not going to happen on my timetable but when it is supposed to. It was a good feeling. I drove along now searching (as best as one can while driving 65 miles and hr on the interstate) for the rainbow that I knew was out there somewhere. Then right before the turn into my neighborhood I saw it. I knew it was there just like I know my Abby is out there waiting for me............